Jennifer (not_hiv_) wrote in writing_101,

Yeah, but you're blue.

I live on my computer. I use it all day long. I use it for school, religion, news, pop culture, socializing, and fine culture. I use it to post drugged entries on why I shouldn't spend all my life online. I don't like to talk about my past. I like to talk about my future. I like to say "bla bla bla" in commonly used words that are well-recognized among the general public. Sometimes I spend too much time thinking about the future. I believe that this is because all of the jobs available to me right now don't usually require that much thinking, or it's just garbage I don't want to think about, so I try to build a LiveJournal Life out of my time at work. I justify this through my use of the internet for educational purposes.

I have found recently that I'm highly shameful. I could live without being highly shameful. Shame can be productive if you're fat and you can convice yourself to continuously turn your shame into perfectionism. I'm having a problem with the continuously.

I'm afraid to let go of my shame because I think that shame might motivate me to lose weight. I managed to do it once, with a support group that worked out, dieted, fasted, threw up, and occasionally used laxatives even though some of them were really far down the eating disorder ladder and would take laxatives even when they hadn't eaten anything and some of them got really sick.

The Part in the second Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when Willie Wonka looks anorexic and tired and he's with Veruca and Violet . . . I so knew what he was going through (or what I think he was trying to portray in the film). He was just tired. His speech sounded tired. He looked tired. I don't like anorexia. I don't like starving. I don't like starving people. That movie Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory the second is something I can't live without in my DVD collection. It is beautiful, well-done, references everywhere, much lust for Johnny Depp and Tim Burton and the Marla-esque character.

If I didn't have a LiveJournal or a radio or a television, I wouldn't have heard about the movie. . . . I think a lot of people I've met try to take it onto themselves to get rid of mass media, but you can not keep up without it. this stuff isn't being thrown around in the streets. maybe that is my problem with mass media - - - you watch it, so you don't talk about it, because you've heard it three or more times a day. People I've met who research on the internet and value people over entertainment (not from cleveland originally) are the people who are really insightful and progressive --- but they get led to a place where they "talk a lot of shit" and don't do anything, because they are surrounded by zombies (which an entirely different cause). Oh, and I couldn't live without the director of WWCF having Johnny Depp say "Oh!There it is..." [evil], cutting off the chins of people and showing a very Hunter/Josie and the Pussy Cats shot of Johnny Depp with his face, saying (in his face) "Seee?? You See Me?"
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.